Monday, June 4, 2012

Oh yes, a rant.

It amazes me how some folks do so much with so very little. They scrape by, saving, working hard, making do, no easy way about it. Friends and neighbors pitch in, filling in the holes. They create so very much out of practically nothing. My family has so very much. Two nice reliable vehicles, a shiny orange tractor, a pretty house bursting at the seams with furniture, books, toys, craft and art supplies, dishes, kitchen appliances, food, computers,  and on and on and on. We have our heads above water, we don't struggle, our debt isn't drowning us. We have all this, but we still don't do anything. Stuff sits forgotten and unused. We leave the garden tools out in the yard until they rust, the lawnmower out in the elements until it doesn't work, the kids toys aren't taken care of - tricycles fade in the sun and balls go flat. Plants die from lack of care. So many plans, and so many daydreams and I still don't ever DO anything. Fear of failure? Laziness? Lack of ambition? All of the above? I don't know, but I can't stand it. I get so mired in the planning stages of everything. It feels impossible to actually get to the doing part. Even after 8 years of marriage and two children, I still don't feel like I've made this house a home.

I know most everybody probably feels this way. I know I'm not unique. I know that everyone feels that they are lacking in some way. I don't need a pat on the back or reassurance that I'm doing just fine. I just need to fuss about it every now and then!

So there.

2 comments:

  1. You're ahead of where I am even now. It's taken me this long to learn basic things like taking care of a yard or how often laundry needs to be done. I still fall behind.

    I think you're much too hard on yourself, though. If you want to make changes, just take things one step at a time.

    - jen

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  2. I agree with Jen - you are much too hard on yourself. Ask yourself, in fifty years will it matter what shiny tool you kept clean ? Nope - you spend your time with your babies, making memories and watching them grow up, which is what you are supposed to be doing. When you are gone all day and exhausted, and you pull into the drive and walk into the house, are you relieved to be there? Are the kids glad to be there? If so, then you have made your house a home.

    Robbie :)

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Hey you! Yes, you...come out of the woodwork and say hello!