Thursday, April 26, 2012

Brother vs. Sister

Sibling rivalry makes me tired. Sweet as pie to each other one minute, brawling the next. It makes me feel sad, angry, hurt, and helpless. I know sibling rivalry is perfectly normal. My brother and I most definitely had our fair share of it when we were little. But seeing my children react so violently to each other still doesn't sit well with me. Worst of all, I see myself so reflected in their actions. I'm much too quick to raise my voice, administer a pop, often a spanking, and almost always out of anger. At times I don't even feel fit to be a parent. Elliot is echoing my ways so closely, and it's painful to realize how my faults have programmed him. I wish I could take back all the times I've reacted so harshly to misbehavior, and see if it would make a difference in his personality. Would he be slower to anger, less quick to smack Sylvie, less defiant? Would a change in the way I discipline make a difference now? I don't even have a clue how to handle him. Sylvie's temper tantrums are pretty predictable. Either she's tired, hungry, or she didn't get her way about something. Elliot's tantrums stem from the same things, but I'm starting to think he has a bit of a mean streak in there, too. Like he's just wanting to pick a fight. If the rivalry present in our home would chill out a bit, parenting would be SO much easier.
IMG_0725 Sitting in close proximity, and actually getting along. For a few moments anyway.

4 comments:

  1. Oh stop! You are a great mom! By the way, I think you're forgetting that Elliot is a boy. They tend to pick fights a little more often. Your kids will be fine. :)

    - Jen

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  2. You mean I haven't scarred them for life?! Lol! You know I have to focus on all the cruddy stuff sometimes! When I daydreamed about having children before I actually had them, it was always of reading books together, and doing crafts at the kitchen table. Brother/sister showdowns didn't enter the picture!

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  3. You are doing great as a mom, try not to be so hard on yourself. Parenting is not easy and there's no instructions. I just bought a book from amazon called " Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking". I'll pass it on to you when I am finished reading it.

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  4. Thank you, Stacie! Whenever you have a chance, I know Elliot would love to have a play date with Nick. We can throw them together in the backyard, and let them run themselves silly!

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